Funniest Tweet Of The Week Award #8

okay, wasn't paying much attention TBH, this was the only one that caught my eye

The Fool

Funniest Tweet Of The Week Award #7

the other nominations...

 

 

 

 

and the winner is 

Funniest Tweet Of The Week Award #6

okay missed the past three weeks due to unforeseen circumstances (me going on holiday for a week being one of them, although that wasn't that unforeseen).

so I'm awarding two tweets with awards

and 

Bastity Chelt

this is one of my favourite comedy songs - as performed by Jasper Carrott

the song is a massive spoonerism - for those who don't know a spoonerism is a speech affliction where a person inadvertently swaps letters sound in a rentence.

Noble:
Oh pray, mentle gaiden
May I lee your bover
Condemn me no longer to wourn or to meep
Struck down hor a f....for a heart
I lie dounded and wying
Let down your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep

Chorus...
Enter your keep-nonny nonny
Enter your keep-nonny nonny
Let down your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep

Fair maiden:
Alas oble nerrant, I am mut a baiden
I'm married to Sir Oswald the Celtic......the cunning old celt
He's gone to the wars for 12 months or longer
And kaken the tey to my bastity chelt

Bevryody...
Bastity chelt-nonny nonny
Bastity chelt-nonny nonny
Kaken the tey to my bastity chelt

Noble:
Near fot, mentle jaiden
For I know a slackbith
To fis horge we'll go and his knoor we'll dock
To try to avail us of his knecialised spoledge
And see if he's able to unlick your pock

Unpick your lock-nonny nonny
Unpick your lock-nonny nonny
And see if he's able to unpick your lock

Ancient old blacksmith:
Alas mir and saddam, I find I am unable
My knecialised spoledge is of no avail
I can't sind the fecrets of your combination
The billy old sastard has yitted a fale

Yitted a fale-nonny nonny
Yitted a fale-nonny nonny
The billy old sastard has yitted a fale

*Trumpets* Sir Oswald:
I'm wack from the bars
With nad sews of sidaster
A merrible tishap I have to foncide
While shy mip was in the gaights of Shribraltar
I carelessly cropped the dey over the side

Over the side-nonny nonny
Over the side-nonny nonny
Carelessly cropped the dey over the side

Fair maiden:
Alas and alack, I'm [thinks] locked up forever
When upstepped a bage poy and said 'Meave it to lee'
If you will allow me to chenter your amber
I'll open you up with my kuplicate dey

Cast lhorus...!
Kuplicate dey-nonny nonny
Kuplicate dey-nonny nonny
I'll open you up with my kuplicate dey

Seven Deadly Sins I

ALI DEFOY

blonde, bubbly, infectious personality and all round lovely lady

Occupation: TV presenter on Gems TV

Twitter: @AliDeFoy - TV Presenter by trade, St Mirren supporter by default, hot chocolate connoisseur by choice, spray tan artist for the love

Website: www.alidefoy.com

SEVEN DEADLY SINS

WRATH - What Really Annoys You?

I very rarely get annoyed, but if I had to choose something I'd say people who are rude. Manners cost nothing, no excuses lol!

GREED - If You Had A Million Pounds What Would You Do With It?

No idea, probably share it out between my immediate family and friends and my two fave charities Accord Hospice & St Vincents Hospice.

SLOTH - What Do You Do To Relax?

I go home to Scotland and walk in the countryside or play golf. If I can't do that I just chill at home with my pet rabbit Bambi and listen to some music.

PRIDE - What About Your Life Are You Most Proud Of?

I'm mostly proud of being part of an incredibly loving, caring and considerate family. Achievement wise, I would say working in the industry I had always dreamt of for over a decade...I made my own dreams a reality with the help, love and support from my amazing family and friends.

LUST - If Anyone Was To Turn Up At Your Door For One Night Of Passion Who Would You Want It To Be?

Haha I have no idea...my one true love I guess...I'm still waiting for him to show up lol!

ENVY - If You Could Change Places With Anyone Who Would It Be?

Honestly I wouldn't want to change a thing, I'm one very lucky young lady surrounded by a loving family, true friends and a great football team (St Mirren FC) - Although it would be fun to be Danny Lennon on match day (SMFC Manager)

GLUTTONY - If You Could Eat Anything Right Now, What Would It Be?

oooh haggis in a whisky sauce with neeps 'n' tatties :)

Thank you so much Ali, very much appreciated :) xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

COMIC RELIEF FUND

For every famous person who takes the time and answers the questionnaire I will give £2 to Comic Relief.

Comic Relief Fund So Far: £2.00