Merry Christmas!

Anyone who has taken any notice of my twitter will have noticed, apart from a few bad gags and complaints about life, I have done my own Twitter Advent Calendar using pics of famous people - mostly girls, I'll admit that.

What follows are those pics, plus some selection of others

Hope you all have a great christmas and a lovely new year.

Will try to blog more in the 2013.

The Fool.

Reasons To Be Cheerful

Just a list of a few things that make me smile

• The Beatles
• Seeing an episode of Last Of The Summer Wine I haven't seen before
• Red Dwarf
• Monty Python
• The Marx Brothers
• thinking I was wrong about something and finding out I was right
• someone I like finding happiness
• the Welsh accent
• various episodes of Doctor Who
• receiving a reply on Twitter by someone I'd admired for years e.g. Stephen Fry
• managing to break though a stubborn patch of Writer's Block and actually write something
• reading
• listening and possibly singing to music (even though I know I can't sing)
• Beetlejuice
• Ghostbusters
• The Dark Knight - especially Heath Ledger's performance
• QI

more to follow, if I think of anything

Fool's Facts

Comedian Shappi Khorsandi is fluent in Norwegian

David Bowie created Connect Four

Fearne Cotton's middle name is One Hundred Percent

American President Barack Obama is a big supporter of Scunthorpe Football Club

Holly Willoughby's full name is Hannah Olivia Laura Louisa Yolanda, but she shortens it to HOLLY

Soap Characters are Time Lords which is why when some of them go on holiday they return looking completely different

Where's Wally? is based on the disappearance of Lord Lucan

Elvis Presley is alive and well and living in Tewkesbury, England

Christina Hendricks' breasts are mostly padding as she's completely flat chested

Former UK Prime Minister John Major had a pet iguana called Eric

Hallowe'en 2012

the following is a few of my favourite Twitter posted costumes I have spotted this year

I do not on the rights to any of these - so if you want them removed - just ask and I'll be happy to :)

Smoking Monologue

written by Paul Merton

"I'd hate to give up smoking...because I don't smoke.

To give up I'd have to start, and I've tried starting, I haven't got the willpower.

I've tried suddenly starting. Gradually increasing the number of cigarettes I smoke each day. Cutting up.

I find myself not having a cigarette, and then not having another one immediately afterwards.

I'm probably not smoking 40 to 50 cigarettes a day.

Of course there are many ways to give up smoking - nicotine chewing gum, hypnotism...

My aunt used to douse herself in a gallon of petrol every morning, the idea being that she couldn't light up without turning herself into a human fireball.... didn't stop her. You'd be in the living room, you'd hear a cough and a whoosh. She was up to 40 whooshes a day by the end of it.

The bloke next door's had surgery to stop him smoking. He's had his lips sewn together. But he still carried on smoking, he used to put the cigarettes up his nose and smoked them like that. So the doctors thought this is no good, so they got hold of him and pump a load of cavity foam up each nostril. but he still carried on smoking... and it wasn't through his ears either I can tell you. He'd be sat on the bus and everyone would be wondering where the smoke rings were coming from. Nobody else had a drag on his fag I can tell you. In the end he was cured by accupuncture - they stuck some needles in eyes, he went blind, now he can't find his fags anymore."

Believe it or not, but that was from memory - I have watched/listened to Paul Merton Live At The London Palladium way too many times.

The Fool.

Funny Tweets II

Christ, I'm rubbish at doing this blog - going ages without adding stuff - arrgh!